As I type this, I’m simultaneously holding a powered blowdryer. Perhaps I keep having to backspace and correct single-finger typos, and perhaps I’m getting more hot air on my wall than on my tresses, but you have to admit – it’s mildly amazing. I plan to add this to my catalogue of skills for future resumes and reality TV show applications. Laurie is a fun-loving go-getter with a wild streak as long as her list of talents: making brownies from a box mix, construction paper crafts, dying her hair, and blogging in a single bound…. I don’t have a wild-streak or the capacity for fun-loving and/or go-getting. I lied about those parts. Also, I turned the dryer off halfway through that paragraph.
This multi-tasking, appliance-juggling skill of wonderment is necessary because I am very tired and have very little time. I’m not here to complain – I don’t even feel bad at the moment – but I am compelled to immortalize these feelings on the internet, so that I can find them amusing and charming someday when I have my life together. Is that how it works? I’m counting on melding all of this into one quirky flashback that I can later recall fondly. Remember when we were young and depressed and bad at sorting laundry? Remember how my hair looked raggedy and I ate my feelings and I was unreasonably proud of myself that one time I remembered to get an oil change? Remember that Burger King incident?
It’s not like this is going to be the most stress I ever endure, but it feels kind of like all these Things that I need to Do are marbles, and they keep piling up on top of each other inside my brain, rolling around, clanking and clacking, making everything heavier. I’m generally good at keeping the marbles afloat – the inside of my head is a pretty, organized fishbowl – but anytime I trip, they all start tumbling around. The other night, when I taco’d myself into a wet-eyed stupor, they flat-out poured from my mouth. I lost my marbles. Lost ‘em good.
What am I talking about? I don’t have a clue what I’m talking about.
I guess my point is that I am very tired.